Mark 10:1-12 (NLT)
Then Jesus left Capernaum and went down to the region of Judea and into the area east of the Jordan River. Once again crowds gathered around him, and as usual he was teaching them.
Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”
Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?”
“Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”
But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”
Divorce. It’s a word which has touched every life reading my words due to its prevalence not only in society as a whole, but in the church. The statistics are staggering. The damage done scarring. Its become so common, it's almost acceptable.
In the Greek language, which the New Testament was originally written in, there are three words for love: phila, eros, and agape. If we are to analyze marriage and divorce, we must look to these three loves. Phila is the brotherly or friendly type of love (hence Philadelphia garnering its nickname “the city of love”). This is a love between friends. All marriage relationships must begin here. If your wife/husband isn’t your best friend, then you never would have “fallen in love” in the first place. The second type is the one most associate with modern-day love, eros. Eros is the passionate, erotic love between men and women. This is the romance of the movies, the butterflies in the stomach, the desire to be with your love all the time, the yearning to “make love.” Unfortunately, when this eros love fades, as it will go in and out many times throughout a marriage, most of us want to give up. We hear things like, “We’ve just grown apart or we’ve simply fallen out of love or they’re not the same person I married or this other girl/guy makes me feel passion again or so forth.” But to stop here is to stop short of Jesus’ standard in the reading today.
Jesus says, “Moses [the law] wrote this command [of divorce] only as a concession to your hard-hearted ways. In the original creation…no longer two individuals, but forming one unity. Because GOD created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.” (verses 5-9, The Message). What Jesus is instructing is to practice agape love- the love which is unconditional, the love which stands firm in the midst of trials and turmoil, the love which forgives and loves in spite of, the love which remains even when the romance lulls, the love which Jesus has for his church. Our world wants nothing more than to trash or scrap a relationship because the sex appeal has worn away. But we are to love the way Christ loves the church, willing to give anything and everything to stay committed to our spouse and vows.
I understand there are extenuating circumstances which might call for divorce (abuse, violence, etc.). However, far too many of us want to call it quits on a whim. Because the law says we can. Or because its acceptable in American society. Or because we feel like another woman/man can fill that romantic void. But don’t fall for the grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side mirage. Let love- agape love- conquer the law. Let love flow-
Application: Pick up the book "The Love Dare" and practice its principles for your spouse. Until then, go home, give your spouse a big, wet kiss, and tell them you love them. Love them with agape. Love them like Jesus loves you. Love them like you love your favorite team or shoe collection. Love them not for what they do, but simply because they are them!
