Ephesians 4:1-6 (NLT)
Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all.
Before pausing yesterday for the end-of-the-month reflection, we had been analyzing patience. On Friday, we witnessed the depth of Jesus’ patience with us and others. On Monday, we saw how we are to be like Christ in this and be patient with others. Today, we’ll tackle an often overlooked area of the topic- patience with ourselves.
Barring any severe case of denial, we tend to be hardest on ourselves, especially when it comes to our Christian walk. We confess our need for God, clean up, sober up, accept our Life-Change through Jesus and begin the journey. Then before long (usually later that day), we succumb to a temptation of our past life- sleeping around, getting drunk, taking a hit, stealing money, blaming others, cheating, whatever. We have little patience with ourselves because we were supposed to be perfect after we came to know Jesus and were filled with the Holy Spirit, right?!? Many times, we dive into a tailspin, believing the lie that now that we’ve sinned again, there is no return to him. That maybe his grace isn’t enough. That somehow He’s going to sling it into our faces despite Him already saying He’s thrown it into the sea of forgetfulness. Why is it that we can’t be more patient with ourselves and “forget” our sin. Do we enjoy playing God and not forgiving ourselves for some sick reason?
Although my capacity for patience has grown with me as I’ve grown spiritually, I have a tendency to lose patience with myself quickly. You see, I have a confession to make: I sinned this week. I hate to burst any sort of righteous bubble you may have put me in, but I’m bluntly honest. Since I‘m transparent, I might as well tell you I sin every week. Not a lifestyle of sin, mind you. But sins nonetheless. It's frustrating because I feel like the Apostle Paul when he lamented something along the lines of, “I don’t want to do this, to commit this sin…but d--- it, I do anyway.” I know its wrong. And I may even wrestle with it a while. But more often than not, I relent. I surrender. I give in. I quit. I sin. Less than the least. Overwhelmed by Godly sorrow, I hit my knees to seek forgiveness. Yet, despite knowing Jesus has forgiven and forgotten, I lash out at myself. Sometimes even use an explicative or two. It's then that the Spirit, not I, reminds me that “His grace is sufficient for me,” that I need to be patient not only with Jesus and others, but myself as well, that I won’t be perfect until I’m one with Him for eternity. Only then, do I accept the opportunity to grow in patience. And by His grace, I walk again.
Practice patience…
